if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
