Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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