I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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