Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
