3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize