She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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