Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My dick has a subreddit
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
