Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
