He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
