Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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