God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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