you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize