Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
