Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
