Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize