i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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