Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
