i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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