I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize