My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In other news, I just burned my penis
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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