all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
