five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
