im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
