end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
wanna go halves on a baby?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
