I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
