Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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