Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
