I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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