What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
