i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
