woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
