Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
