just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize