He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
