and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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