My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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