I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
