i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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