Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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