Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
