absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and she was petting her beer can
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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