Plan B is the new Plan A
thus making me awesome and them whores
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
