Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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