my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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