I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
