we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
