I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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