THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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