We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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