Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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