it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize