It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
