The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
