Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
