I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
