I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
