I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
