You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
