i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
