Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
