i just google imaged poop.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
